Relationship Building | Part 1: Lead by Listening
Relationship building takes the Spotlight on a new three-part journey that showcases how distinctive relationships shape professional development expertise and career progression for research administrators. Effective and meaningful leadership draws upon relationships. Developing leadership skills starts with being a good listener – a core competency of relationship building. This month, strategies to help research administrators build and refine listening skills as leaders are considered.
Professional and leadership development in higher education institutions is often characterized by efficiency, strategy, and decisiveness. Work in research administration is typically depicted as never-ending frenetic activity, often contained within the parameters of emails and instant 799179messaging. Relationships in the workplace are instantaneous and often lower quality; this frequently leads to potential conflict and missed opportunities. The modern work environment holds few opportunities for more contemplative, slow productivity skills that promote long-term gains in developing trust, respect, and collaboration.
Research administrators must navigate the complexities of human interaction within the context of organizational hierarchies; it is critical to develop trusting relationships, a collaborative atmosphere, and command an agility to innovate in a complex regulatory environment. Having quality connections with others in organizations enables better person-to-person connections and a foundation of mutual respect. Here are several strategies for listening as a leader to build relationships and improve communications.
Be an active listener: Have you ever been in a conversation and the other person is looking at their phone, at a laptop, or watch? It likely did not make you feel very important to the listener. A key step in being a good listener is to give the speaker your full attention. There are numerous verbal and non-verbal cues that show the speaker you are actively listening and prioritizing them over other distractions. A primary form of distraction can be as simple as holding your smartphone in your hand or in front of you on your desk. Simon Sinek, an author and motivational speaker, argues even just holding a phone in your hand during a conversation can make the speaker feel that what they are saying is not the most important thing to you in a given moment. He further argues that it is not just about what a person says, but that the speaker experiences being heard and is given the signal that what they are saying is important.
Practice empathy: Empathy is the practice of understanding and sharing the feelings of another individual. To be an empathetic person means to have an awareness of how a person is feeling alongside their experiences that inform the emotion they are expressing. According to Charles Duhigg, author of Supercommunicators, there are three types of conversations: the practical (how to solve the problem), the emotional (how we feel about the problem), and the social (how do we work together (or not) to solve the problem). Without the ability to identify the type of conversation the speaker is offering it is difficult to have a connection to the individual. Empathetic listening creates a safe space for the speaker to share and allows you to get to the bottom of what kind of conversation is occurring.
Empathetic listening is an especially critical tool in research administration as a principal investigator on an award, a program officer, or another administrator may differ with you or a team you represent. This can often be resolved by recognizing what type of conversation is occurring and understanding what is informing their perspective. Techniques include asking open-ended questions, demonstrating patience, and asking questions to understand rather than to offer an immediate solution.
Embrace the power of a pause: Allow the speaker to fully express themselves without interruption. It may be difficult to resist if you have an immediate idea or solution to what the speaker is saying, but that often leads to the speaker feeling unheard or that the listener was just waiting for a break in the conversation to change the spotlight to themselves. Embrace silences within conversations more than the temptation to interrupt. Allowing silences and pauses is often thought to be uncomfortable in a conversation, but it enables the speaker to present ideas at their own pace and gives the option to individuals in a conversation to be contemplative regarding the topic.
Confirm and expand: Lastly, the best way to show that you are listening is to demonstrate a mutual understanding of what is being said. Restating what the speaker says in your own words or paraphrasing and confirming it with the speaker shows that you are truly listening to what they are saying. This also sets you up for the opportunity to take what they have said and build upon it with your own thoughts, such as a proposal of ideas in response to theirs for how to move the conversation forward.
You may be surprised at what kind of effect these techniques can have in transforming how your work gets completed on a day-to-day basis, as well as the longer-term gains in career development towards leadership opportunities. Once you master the art of being a good listener you are well-positioned to solve problems, build teams, and share a vision that can effectively advance a team, a department, and even and institution.
Authored by Hanna Bates, Research Administrator III
Iowa State University
SRAI Catalyst Committee Member
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