Relationship Building | Part 3: Putting it all Together: Effective Communication Resolves Conflicts
The Spotlight concludes its relationship-building series with a focus on how to draw upon effective listening and communication techniques to effectively mitigate conflicts at work. Potentially harmful situations can be transformed into positive outcomes through targeted, meaningful self-awareness practices.
Conflict in a workspace is often the result of disagreement between individuals caused by several variables, such as differences in temperament, communication styles, or a variance in goals and perspectives. Contentious situations can frequently be stressful and uncomfortable for all involved including the parties in conflict and possibly those on the periphery, like coworkers. They can have a potential ripple effect into everyone’s overall quality of life, job satisfaction, and community.
Communication tools can play a key role in resolving conflict in the workplace, but first, it is important to acknowledge what conflict does to the human body’s nervous system and what that may do to make a situation more difficult. Stressful situations complicate decision-making. Stress, fear, anger, and anxiety can cause the decision-making center of the brain to be overtaken by the emotional response center, the amygdala, to protect you from perceived danger, which often does not lead to the best responses in a conflict, according to healthcare writer Jen Rose Smith. This is commonly referred to as an amygdala hijack.1 Chronic exposure to stress and anxiety can be problematic for long-term health and can result in cardiovascular disease, poor mental health, and more.
So how do you resolve conflict in a way that keeps your body, mind, and workplace at peace? First, it is important to gauge how conflict and stress impact your body and your choices in the moment and long term. Deep breathing, journal exercises, and practicing mindfulness of how you feel and react are some key approaches to alleviate stress. When you are aware of how you are being affected and take a moment to decompress how you are holding stress in conflict you can then bring your body and mind into balance to respond rather than be reactive to a situation.
This is the perfect time to use your tools from the communication toolbox we have collected so far to manage conflict.
- Actively listen. It may feel hard when you are in conflict, but it is important to be an active listener to the other person in a dispute. Often, conflict arises because an individual believes they are not being entirely heard. This includes summarizing and expanding on the points the individual is making from a neutral point of view. In this practice, it is important to also use a pause, not only to minimize interrupting the other person when they are trying to communicate their perspective, but also to keep your biology in balance and to mindfully check in with how you are hearing the other person.
- Take some perspective. Look to understand where the individual may be coming from in their perspective of the conflict and what they may be feeling. It is important to ask yourself if what they are saying is adding to your narrative about the person or are you seeking to understand where they might be coming from in their side of the conflict.
- Check in with yourself. Practice mindfulness techniques such as meditative breathing, a body scan, and bringing yourself to the present moment. Quite often stress and anxiety can lead to unproductive mental chatter that brings an individual out of the present moment with the other person.
- Problem-solve together. Instead of thinking that this is a situation where it is you versus another person, think of the situation as both people aiming to solve the same problem together.
- Focus on the repair. Leading the application of this concept is clinical psychologist Becky Kennedy, founder of Good Inside, an organization that advises how to make behavioral changes while building positive relationships. Dr. Kennedy demonstrates that repair is a concept where you acknowledge the moment that happened, take responsibility for your own actions, and state how they would do their part differently in the future.2 While this approach is popularly used in parenting, it has applicability in workplace conflict to validate how people were made to feel, promotes active listening, and creates resolution for all individuals involved,3 according to Hanna Hart, an executive coach who writes on leadership and personal development.
- Seek out help. Solving conflict, especially a difficult one, does not have to be accomplished on your own. Refer to your institution’s policies and resources for addressing workplace conflict.
Lastly, it is important to note that conflict can be a positive force in the workplace if done and managed correctly. It is the diversity of thought and perspective that can lead to growth and innovation. Conflict can be a fated part of working in teams, but healthy conflict can be a means to cultivate connection and advance organizational goals.
1. Smith, J.R. (2020, July 9). Anxiety makes us bad decision-makers. Here's how to do better even if you're worried about everything. CNN Health.
2. Kennedy, Becky. (2020). Good Inside.
3. Hart, H. (2023, June 9). So You Messed Up? How To Repair With A Coworker. Forbes.
Authored by Hanna Bates, Research Administrator III
Iowa State University
SRAI Catalyst Committee Member
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