View from the Top | The Spooky Office of Sponsored Programs: Haunted Deadlines and Creepy Compliance
As the crisp fall air rolls in and pumpkin-spiced lattes fuel our conference calls, the research administration world knows that Halloween isn't just for kids in costumes. It's a time when the ghosts of grant deadlines, the skeletons of past audits, and the haunting memories of IRB protocols gone awry come creeping out of the shadows. Welcome to the SRAI Halloween special, where the ghoulish side of research administration comes to life—if you dare!
Zombie Proposals
They Won't Die.
Ah, the zombie proposal. It’s the one that keeps coming back, even after you’ve put it to rest. You thought it was dead—rejected months ago, buried under the weight of more promising projects. But then, out of nowhere, it rises again. The PI resurrects it with, “I’ve made a few changes; can we resubmit?” It stumbles back into your life, dragging its feet, clutching old spreadsheets and half-baked aims. No matter how many times you try to lay it to rest, it just won’t stay down.
The IRB Werewolf
They initially seem normal—a standard research protocol, a straightforward approval process. But when the full moon of scrutiny rises, that IRB application transforms before your eyes. New revisions sprout like fur on a werewolf. What started as a simple review turns into a terrifying series of "minor" changes that are anything but. You’ve seen this beast before, but it never gets less frightening. The only thing scarier? The full moon is also your final submission date.
The Phantom PI
You know this one. They vanish for weeks, sometimes months, leaving you alone to face the eerie quiet of unanswered emails and incomplete forms. But as soon as the deadline looms close—BOO!—they reappear, full of last-minute requests and urgent tasks. They haunt your inbox, demanding instant attention. “Just one more revision,” they whisper, “It’ll only take a minute…” You glance at the clock—midnight is near—but the phantom PI won’t rest until everything is submitted.
Surviving the Research Admin Haunt In the end, research administrators are resilient. We’ve faced the horrors of last-minute submissions, survived the specter of surprise audits, and emerged from the graveyard of zombie proposals stronger than ever. So, this Halloween, let’s raise a glass of witch’s brew (or coffee, lots of coffee) and toast to our fellow research admins. Your hard work and dedication are what keep the lab lights on, even when things go bump in the night!
Happy Halloween SRAI—where even the spookiest deadlines can't scare us away!
Authored by Gloria W. Greene, Assistant Vice President, Contracts & Grants
The University of Alabama at Huntsville
SRAI Board of Directors President
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